Continuing Thru The Obstacles

obstacles

I am a survivor. I come with a lot of baggage, I will be first to admit that. Things that don’t bother or set you off, can send me into a whirlwind of emotions for days. PTSD. One of those things I had to learn to live and deal with. It is a part of me. It is not something that just goes away.

My past has made me very alert to a lot of things. It is a good thing but also a bad thing. Sometimes I tend to get defensive when there is no need for it. It is as if at times I feel like I always have to fight for myself. Like a bad habit. I had to fight to survive for so long that is almost as if I am programmed to always be ready to fight.

I have experienced new triggers, learned how to get through them instead of just avoiding whatever the trigger is. IS…not WAS! I believe that the triggers don’t simply just disappear over time but they become less frequent as we become more aware of what those triggers are and also as we learn to cope with our day to day activities.

Over the years I have learned a lot about myself, even more so thru writing my blogs. I didn’t like everything that I learned, but I learned to accept it and to change what I was able to change. I have learned to love and accept all aspects of me. How can I expect others to do so if I am unable to? How would I be able to know what I deserve if I do not even know what I am worth?

I am a survivor. I come with a lot of baggage. No, I don’t want to unpack my stuff with just anybody; that goes for both friendships and relationships. If I decide to unpack it is because that person has earned my trust. Which is hard to gain in the first place. If I decide to unpack, please be patient with me. Let me take my time carefully unpacking, carefully exposing my scars.

Continuing thru the obstacles, climbing over the walls, jumping over the hurdles and running this race called life. One day at a time. One obstacle at a time. Realizing that I may not make it through that obstacle the first time around but always getting stronger and better for the next time.

Reflection Over Troubled Waters

I’ve always been drawn to water. I love the oceans, lakes, and ponds. It is as if it is my own little piece of heaven. The place where I can let all my thoughts run wild and yet at the same time I can still feel at peace. I can scream out all my pains without fear. I can cry my deepest cry without judgment. Then, as soon as I have pulled myself together I am literally face to face with myself. Looking at my reflection on the water. Sometimes the body of water may be peaceful, with my reflection gently resting on the surface. Other times the water may be rough, chopping my reflection up.

During these times where I would see my reflection over troubled waters it was like another reminder to myself. Reminding me, that no matter how rough life gets I will never be overtaken by its circumstances. No matter how large the waves they will not drag me away from my destiny. The current at times might slow me down, but it will never stop me from reaching my destination.

Life has tossed me around like an ocean during a storm trying to drown me in sorrow and depression. Just when I thought I would be lost at sea and soon forgotten about, the waves started to slowly calm down. When I felt weak and thought I could no longer keep my head above the waves a deeper strength from within carried me through.

The storm had passed but the choppy waters still remained. I had managed to escape trauma, but the recovery process was just the beginning. Through the waves of life I managed to rise back to the surface after each crashing wave had ferociously crushed over my fragile body.

I am a survivor of many forms of abuse. I made it through the darkest of times. I learned to love my reflection even if it was over troubled waters, not just when I look at it on the gently pond. I have learned to embrace myself even when I am being tossed around in the raging sea.

My reflection over troubled waters, is a reflection of my strength. A reflection of my perseverance and a reflection of my hope. My reflection over troubled waters is a storm all of her own. Never to be broken. Never to dissipate.

wallhaven-178641

The Lost Wanderer (Part 1)

umm

She was lost in her own hell.

Barely holding on.

She thought she knew better than to sleep with the devil.

His lies kissed her lips and she was gone.

His masked disguise left her blind.

Her strength and courage was sucked right out of her.

She was a dead woman walking.

Scared to cry out for help.

Scared to run away.

She held back her tears and carried on each day.

Not knowing how much more she could take.

Not knowing if tomorrow she would awake.

Walking on eggshells.

Plotting every move.

Who could she tell?

Life was what she had to lose.

She was lost in her own hell.

Not some fictional fairytale.

This was real life.

Every day was a new fight.

Fighting for another breath.

Fighting until there was nothing left.

He beat her down with his words.

His tongue was like a double-edged sword.

Her self-confidence.

Her self-love

Her self-control

All of it stripped from her.

She no longer had her identity.

She saw herself through the eyes and the lies of the man she once loved.

Her self identity became his insecurities.

Her pureness in his eyes were now impurities.

Until one day.

She woke up.

Woke up determined to break free.

She had had enough.

No longer blind

She mustered up enough strength to fly.

She was determined to survive.

Her soul revived.

Her heart strived.

She was born again, she had had come back to life.

She made a plan of escape.

Taking every precaution.

She was going to leave no matter the fate.

She was willing to claw her way out if she must.

The day had come.

Last night was the final straw.

He had choked her until she passed out.

She couldn’t take anymore.

Her life in his hands.

She knew his final plan.

She made arrangements early the next morning.

As she started gathering her belongings.

Scared for her life

She was ready to fight.

He was sound asleep

As she started packing her things.

Just as she was about to leave

He opened up his eyes.

He saw all her things and said

“You’re leaving me?”

In an instant flashbacks of past threats flooded her mind.

But she had already decided

Not this time.

Her inner warrior had awoken.

She finally stuck up for herself.

She told him she was leaving and that was that.

He slowly got up.

Her eyes followed his every move.

Her ears in tune with every step.

What was he going to do?

Out of all the things he had threatened.

What was going to be his first move?

He showered and dressed.

Not saying a word.

No sound was made.

No sound was heard.

He grabbed his keys and as he turned to leave.

He turned back around and said

“Good bye (Name)”

Goodbye? That’s it? She thought to herself.

As she heard him open and shut the door.

Something must be up.

She phoned her ride and explained that he had left.

A few minutes later she was finally gone.

Out of hell she escaped.

Without nothing, not even a scrape.

The butterfly had found an opening in the window.

And started to fly towards a better tomorrow…..

(To Be Continued…)

Have You Ever Wondered?

untitled

Have you ever wondered why?

Why he or she covers up the lies?

Why he or she doesn’t just leave?

Why he or she cannot see what you see?

Have you ever tried to understand?

Walk in his or her shoes if you can?

Ever think of the dangers that are at hand?

Do you realize the mental control that is in place?

Do you know the things that he or she must face?

Do you know what is possibly at stake?

How much careful planning it all takes?

Before judging and assuming, before victim bashing.

Be aware. Aware of the things that are most likely happening.

For a victim of abuse they may not be aware of the choices they have.

They may feel like no one cares.

Take into consideration of the brainwashing.

Being told that no one loves them.

Being told that it is their fault and that they deserve it.

Abuse goes so much deeper than a physical wound you may happen to see.

The mental, verbal and emotional abuse is not seen by the naked eye.

The invisible scars that lie deep beneath and hold so much control.

Have you ever wondered?

Have you ever really just wondered?

Why he or she is so closed off from the world?

Why he or she does not trust a single soul?

How hard it is for them to gain back their own self control?

Do you know what it is like to be a prisoner in your own mind?

To feel trapped even after you have already escaped?

Triggers: A scent, a sound, a touch, a day, a time, an event, a number of things that could send a person spiraling backwards in their healing.

The panic and anxiety attacks

The not wanting to leave from under the covers of your bed.

Never feeling safe.

Always feeling alone.

And you wonder why he or she goes back?

The sweet lies that drip from the tip of the abusers tongue.

The lies that have the victim turn back and run.

Run back to the arms of the one who causes the most pain.

Blinded by the disguise.

Not seeing their own demise.

All in order to feel “loved”

Have you ever wondered?

How he or she got there?

What has them stuck there?

Have you ever taken the time to fully understand?

What it is like to be controlled by another persons hand?

How someone once so strong could be so fragile?

How someone with so much confidence now insecure?

How someone who once was so full of life can now be so passionless?

Have you ever wondered?

What can you say?

What can you do?

To possibly get them to see the truth?

Truth is..

You can tell them until your face turns blue.

It isn’t that they don’t hear you or want to hear you.

They need to see the truth

For themselves.

They have to see their way out.

They have to see that they will be safe.

They have to get to that point.

The point where they have had enough.

Their eyes will be open

Where they will soon realize.

Everything that was said

Was nothing but lies.

It was all a disguise

To try and paralyze

A caterpillar from transforming into a butterfly.

Have you ever wondered?

When She Awoke

One morning she woke up different.

Done with trying to figure out who was with her, against her or walking down the middle because they didn’t have the guts to pick a side.

She was done with anything that didn’t bring her peace.

She realized that opinions were a dime a dozen.

Validation was for parking.

Loyalty wasn’t a word but a lifestyle.

It was this day that her life had changed.

Not because of a man.

Or a job.

But because, she had finally realized that life is way too short to leave the key of her happiness in someone else’s pocket.

download (10)

 

 

 

Thinking Out Loud

images-3

So as you all know I started writing my book about my experience with domestic violence, the chapter I am currently working on so far is one of the most difficult chapters. It has taken me a long time to write what I have written so far. It has opened up a wound I thought was healed. I have realized that there has not really been full closure on this aspect of my life. Many tears have been shed while writing previous chapters, so many unanswered questions. So many “Why’s?” and I know those will never be answered, and even if there was a chance for those “why’s” to be answered I know that they would not be truthful answers anyways.

This book is not only about my experience with domestic violence, this book touches on so many sensitive subjects in my life. It is graphic and detailed. I want the readers to feel what I have felt. I believe that that is the best way a writer can write. To bring the reader back in time and travel with me through my life as if they were right there with me.

At the same time I am struggling right now, I am facing things from my past that I never fully dealt with. Emotions about things that have happened and am wondering why I have these feelings. I try to continue typing through this chapter, I get one or two sentences out and I shut it down.

You know, I go through life looking at where I am now and where I came from. Amazed at how I got this far. I get through day by day with a smile on face just loving and enjoying every moment. I look at my dreams and see myself achieving them and see doors of opportunities starting to open. I’ve connected with amazing people all over the world through this blog and other social media. Yet I feel stuck. I usually write blogs to inspire and encourage others but right now I could really use some inspiration and encouragement.

I guess this blog is just a venting blog.

download-2

 

Up and coming project

 

25944511_044bc07b-c7c9-46ff-abc7-c5e3c410736d

Hey all, so I am in the works of creating a newsletter.  I am planning on starting it in September, I thought that would be a great time since it is the 1 year anniversary of my blog page. On my page I have the subscription sign-up on there, I want to focus on gaining subscribers now while I work on newsletters and continue educating myself with creating them, I have a couple in the works already.

This newsletter is a monthly newsletter focusing on encouraging, inspiring, and empowering women. It will be filled with helpful tools, motivational quotes and much more!

I thank you in advance for all your support in my endeavors. Below is the direct link to sign-up for the newsletter. When signing up, you may receive the intro welcoming letter and a confirmation email. It is automatically sent upon sign-up.

Sign-up here: http://eepurl.com/b19Lqz

Love Afterwards

images (9)

Love, a word that I always say is an action word. Not just a word that is said, but a word that is shown, love is something that you do. By definition, love is an intense feeling of affection.

I often find other survivors asking “How will I ever love again?” To be honest, you will never be able to truly love another person until you first love yourself. When you were in an abusive relationship you were not loved or cared for properly which may have led to you feeling like you are unlovable. Learn to give yourself the love you deserve and did not receive from your abuser. You are loveable, and you are worth loving. You do deserve to love and to be loved.

Take time in getting to re-learn yourself. It is a process. There are no time limits, you take however long you want. Remember, you are a new person now, not exactly the same person that you once used to be. For however long you were in the abusive relationship you were not your true self, and you were led to believe that you were the negative things that this individual bombarded your mind with. You have to retrain yourself from the negative things you were once told and remind yourself of the positive things that you know you are. Continuously repeating these positive words until you wholeheartedly believe them.

Whenever a negative thought comes to mind, pay attention, and then replace it with something positive. For example, if a negative thought like “I’m not good enough.” Comes to mind, instantly stop, and say: “I am good enough.” or “I am more than enough.” If you get the thoughts of “I can’t…” change them to “I can.” and “I will.” Remind yourself of your worth. Remind yourself of how beautiful or handsome that you are.

Do little things for yourself, take long walks on the beach or a park. Buy yourself some flowers. Have a spa day. Maybe even take a short trip(or a long one 🙂 ). Treat yourself to something nice. Do anything that will make you feel good about yourself.

Set small goals that you know you will achieve, and once achieved celebrate! Congratulate yourself, treat yourself. Then set another goal, or maybe a few goals and achieve those as well.

Setting goals and accomplishing them gives you a well-needed self-esteem boost. It makes you feel better about yourself.

Learning to love yourself is an amazing journey. It is quite interesting. When you take the time to self-evaluate, you will be amazed at what you learn about yourself. There may be things that you do not like about yourself and that is fine, this is the time that you can work on them and improve yourself.

For now, focus on loving yourself rather than focusing on finding love. When you are ready, love will find you. You will recognize when a healthy and loving relationship comes and you will be ready for it. But for now, take this time as YOUR time! Focus on getting to know the new and improved you. The stronger, wiser and better YOU! There is love afterwards. There is love after an abusive relationship. The love of loving yourself comes first. It is time for you to put yourself first for once. It is time to enjoy YOU!

CeWchBbWwAET_Bc

Sidenote: For those who enjoy reading, I created a short list of several books on loving yourself below:

1. Loving Yourself: Finding Happiness by Falling in Love With Yourself First

2. Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It

3. Learning To Love Yourself

4. Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth

Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award Nomination

sisterhood-bloggers

Thank you joicelizsabeth (my soul-sister); for nominating me for the Sisterhood of the World blogger award. To say I am honored is an understatement! I thank you so much, and truly appreciate you J!

It looks like all I have to do is answer 10 questions, and nominate other women who are more than worthy of a nomination.  So here are the questions posed to me.

  • Why do you blog?

– At first, I wrote a blog to share my experience of domestic violence. In all honesty, I thought that would have been my one and only blog. The only thing I had asked for was that it helped just ONE person. Now, I blog to help give hope, to empower, to uplift and to build up other survivors. I blog, because I now know, that I am a voice for those who have not yet found their own voice.

  • Do you hope to accomplish something with blogging or do you just enjoy it?

– I feel as though I have accomplished what I set out for, I see that I have touched and helped many which is why now I just enjoy writing blogs. I enjoy hearing from readers who share parts of their own stories. I enjoy hearing from readers who say that a recent blog I posted gave them hope. So, I guess I just enjoy it.

  • Where do you live?

– I live in Boston, MA

  • What are a few of your top books?

– I just finished reading “A Black Rose Thrived” written by my dear blogging friend Rochelle Richey. (Amazingly written)

  • How about movies? What are your favorites?

– Hmmm.. I love horror movies. I am so bad when it comes to remembering movie titles.

  • What could you not live without?

– I could not live without my laptop or cellphone (sad I know), but it is how I communicate with my other bloggers/sisters across the world.

  • How would you hope to be described?

– I would hope to be described as; Loving, kind, caring, giving, thoughtful, inspiring, encouraging, and empowering.

  • What is your soapbox? That one issue that always puts you right up there?

– Domestic Violence and Child Abuse.

  • Where would you like to retire?

– Somewhere where it doesn’t snow. (Remember, I’m from Boston) 🙂

  • What do you do for work/day job/ etc?

– Currently; I work in an emergency department.

So, now it is time for me to choose my nominee’s:

  1. Rochelle Richey
  2. Trease Shine Hinton
  3. Rosie Malezer
  4. shesundone
  5. Blue Sky

To those I chose as nominee’s, you do not have to take part in this if you do not want to. However, I would ask that you pass this on and nominate a blogger whom you think deserves it.

Questions for everyone to answer:

  1. Why do you blog?
  2. Do you hope to accomplish something with blogging or do you just enjoy it?
  3. Where do you live?
  4. What are a few of your top books?
  5. How about movies? What are your favorites?
  6. What could you not live without?
  7. How would you hope to be described?
  8. What is your soapbox? That one issue that always puts you right up there?
  9. Where would you like to retire?
  10. What do you do for work/day job/ etc?

Dear Outside World

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

images (9)

Dear Outside World;

Often times, survivors are bombarded with the same repetitive question: Why didn’t you leave sooner? or Why didn’t you leave when he or she hit you the first time?

Let me be very clear, no one stays in a relationship because they enjoy the abuse. Do you want to know why someone stays in an abusive relationship? Mainly, out of fear. Fear for their own lives as well as the lives of their family. Secondly, the abuser has more than likely isolated the victim from their family and friends, therefore; the victim feels that he or she has nowhere to go. A victim of domestic violence doesn’t become a victim when the abuser physically harms them. He or she becomes a victim the moment the abuser starts belittling, calling the victim names, starts to control things like what the victim can and cannot wear, for female victims; they don’t want you to wear makeup or your hair a certain way. The abuser takes control of your money, they determine when and if you can see your family and friends, and then cuts you off from them completely. (All this tends to occur first before the actual physical abuse starts)

You see, when you look from the outside, you CANNOT JUDGE A VICTIM, you have NO RIGHT! You have no knowledge on this subject, I often tell people that someone who has been victimized this way should be connected with a survivor of domestic violence. It doesn’t matter how many years of schooling you had, how many degrees you have on your belt. You still will not have an idea or sense of the emotions that this individual has experienced during the relationship, nor will you fully understand the emotions the individual will feel while going through the aftermath and their healing process. (If you disagree please feel free and comment)

So, why didn’t I leave after the first time my ex actually hit me? Because I was petrified! Because this individual had said he would kill me, because he said I would never make it out without both my legs being broken. I stayed because I was brainwashed into thinking he was all that I had. I stayed because I had no friends, that when I did manage to sneak a phone call into one of them they ignored my calls, or cussed me out. I didn’t even have a chance to tell my friends I needed their help. They had no idea that all this happened until years later! And believe me, those same few friends I have in my life now, I know they regret it terribly. I didn’t leave because I was embarrassed, I was ashamed. My whole mentality on life was so distorted. I felt like I may have done something to deserve it. Or that maybe it actually was my fault.

Do you know what it feels like to have to sneak out of your own house just to spend time with your own mother? To have your mother buy you a cell phone to keep in contact with her and hide it from your abuser? Even with that, have to try and put on a facade in front of her that everything is okay because you do not want her worrying about you? (as if she didn’t know. Mom always knows)  Do you know what it is like to have to lie to the ENTIRE world, when really all you want to do is scream for help? Yet you are in so much fear you somehow manage to paint a smile on your face.

Tell me, Outsider; do you know what it is like to experience all this on a constant basis? 24/7 for however many years, there are no breaks, do you know what good days are like to a victim? Guess what, there are no good days in an abusive relationship; unless you count a good day as not getting choked, slapped, kicked or punched!

There seems to be a huge misconception on victims and survivors of domestic violence from the outside world. I get it, it comes from ignorance. The lack of knowledge that one has towards this issue. Yet, if only you would just listen. DO NOT SPEAK, just LISTEN to what they (we) have to say. Let us explain to you. Do not cut us off while speaking. Do not stop us because it is too much for you to hear. JUST LISTEN, that’s really all we ask for. We pretty much already know that you won’t really get it. What we want, is just for someone to listen. All we ever wanted was for someone to hear us out for once.

You should feel honored if someone wants to tell you their experience(s). That alone is a big deal because what that means is that we found enough trust in you. TRUST, something that very few of us give to ANYBODY! Especially when discussing something so severe.

No one can ever TRUTHFULLY say “I would have left after the first time he or she put their hands on me.” Some of the most strong-willed individuals you know can become victims of domestic violence. You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

There Is A Moment…

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

images (4)

 

There is a moment that comes for a victim when they just know. They know that it is now or never. They know that this is more than likely the only opportunity they may ever have to escape. There is no time limit. The number of years it took for the victim to leave does not compare to the fact that he or she survived! Because, as a survivor I can tell you, all you want is for the person you originally met to return. You didn’t fall in love with the monster, you fell in love with its disguise. You fell in love with all that charm that was poured on you, the wooing effect. You deny the fact of knowing that the facade you met will never return. During the whole relationship, you try and change yourself, to keep your partner happy. But they are never satisfied. You change, when it isn’t you that needed the change. The abuser, who is so insecure with themselves cannot admit to it, so they put it all on you. It is a way to stroke his or her ego and insecurities.

I wrote several blogs before, about this moment. How something inside of you awakens(I refer to it as a tiger in one blog). All of your senses come back to you. Life returns back to the lifeless body. All the control and power you gave to your abuser seems to get sucked out of them and returns to you. You just know that NOW is the time to go.

For some, it may have been a few years, others ten or more. However, the important thing is that you made it! YOU SURVIVED! You followed your gut instinct, you knew it was at that time that you had to go. You “woke up” from your nightmare. However you planned your escape, whether contacting family, friends or an organization. It was successful. Let me say I am proud of you for making it this far.

This is the moment that you have been waiting for. The moment where you get YOU back. The moment where you get your LIFE back. This is the moment of NEW BEGINNINGS! This moment is the moment of the rest of your life! This is the moment where you will no longer be a victim, but you will become a survivor!

It was a tough journey, an unexpected one that you never thought you would experience. But do not beat yourself up over it. Always remind yourself that none of it was your fault! You NEVER deserved ANY of it!

When you are ready, share your story, use you experience for the good. Help others. Take it from me, this is the best decision I made; sharing my story and experiences, blogging to encourage and empower other survivors is the greatest thing I can ever do. I have found so much happiness in the connections that I have made and continue making. There is nothing better than knowing that you are NOT alone. TRUST ME; YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!

To those who may currently be in an abusive relationship, you also are not alone. If you would like to reach out (which I hope you do) please go on my “Contact Me’ page, and you can contact me through the outlets there. By whichever form you feel safest. I will always answer and reply as soon as I can, which is typically that same day. You do not have to worry, I am the ONLY person who checks the email, DM’s and private messages and they are all linked to my phone. I urge you to listen to your instinct, it will never steer you wrong. There are tons of outlets that you can turn to as well (many are mentioned throughout my other blogs). Also, your family will be there for you with open arms, I know one of the things an abuser says is that no one loves you like him or her. But they are so wrong! For one family NEVER stops loving you. Secondly, he or she doesn’t love you, because if he or she did love you, they would NEVER do these things to you.

One thing I ask that you always remember; is that you are not to blame! You are not doing anything wrong that allows any of this to happen to you.

Strength of a Tiger, Spirit of a Butterfly

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

wp-1452812698774.jpeg

It is AMAZING what we as writers/bloggers can take from a picture. For instance, this one here, with a tiger cub and a butterfly. “Strength of a Tiger, Spirit of a Butterfly.”

When I think about strength I usually think of inner strength. I know I talk about it a lot, but as a survivor, it is something I had to remind myself of very often. Even today, with different life situations. Physical strength can only get you but so far. But inner strength, that is something that goes unmeasured. Once you tap into that; there is no stopping you. Once your mind is set and made up you will do what you need to do to achieve it at all costs. In the featured picture, when I look at the red eyes, to me it symbolizes the inner strength wakening inside of us.

One of the most amazing things about inner strength, is that even in your weakest state, even when you are at the end of your rope; that inner strength is there waiting for you. It waits for you to search for it, it waits for you to reach deep down inside for you to grab hold of it; because in order to activate it, you have to acknowledge it. When activated, it is like a roar that is at a decibel that only you can hear; just like an actual tiger, the roar is only in a frequency that cannot be heard by all. and it is when you hear it and acknowledge it, that you see you can make it. You will survive it. You will achieve it. You will accomplish it. Whatever that “it” may be.

Since I blog through the eyes of a survivor; I personally know that I had to have the strength of a tiger in order to make it out of my abusive relationship. Was I afraid? Of course! But it was that inner strength that still overshadowed that fear. It was that strength, that kept telling me “You cannot stay here.”  The Strength of a Tiger, had awaken. The strength that at one point I thought had disappeared. It never left, it never does leave. It just lays dormant. Waiting for you to unleash it.

While having the strength of a tiger, it is important to remember to have the spirit of a butterfly. While we are stronger than we may think. We also have this gentle, kind and carefree spirit.  The butterfly symbolizes transformation. So while, we needed the strength of a tiger to overcome our caterpillar state; since for some of us we may have had to literally crawl on our bellies just to make it out or pretty damn close to it. We are now at a point of transformation. Do not rush the cocoon process. This is the healing process. Once in the cocoon you are leaving everything you have once known behind. Embrace your transformation, where you will embark on a new journey. We now turn into this beautiful butterfly transforming into the person we are today. This carefree animal, who lives life with a beautiful purpose. We all have a specific purpose in life, and during your cocoon experience is where you will find it. The butterfly also symbolizes beauty. As it travels from flower to flower they continuously spread beauty where they go. So we too, shall spread our beauty wherever we go.

***Side note*** Coincidentally, my two favorite animals have always been the tiger and the butterfly for as long as I can remember. I had no idea that I would ever write a blog containing the two. Like I mentioned in the beginning, as a writer and blogger it amazes me at what we can see and be inspired by. Isn’t it?

You Are Not Your Past

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

its-not-your-past-that-defines-you

You are not your past! You are not all those horrible things that you were once called to belittle you and make you feel powerless. At some point you said “Enough is enough!” You dug and dug deep to muster up whatever ounce of strength you had and you got up and left. No matter how long it may have taken you to get there, the point is that you got there!

 

You walked out and never turned back, or maybe you did. Maybe you looked back for a split second out of habit; maybe you looked back out of fear. But you kept on walking, you faced forward again and walked towards the best days of your life. At first it won’t be easy, but each passing day will get easier than the last. It takes time. Remember a lot was taking from you and you have to get it all back; piece by piece.

 

Do not be afraid to speak to someone, whether it is a trusted family member or friend, or even a professional. If you know someone who has been through a similar experience lean on them for support.

 

Your past is not what defines you, what defines you is how you deal and have dealt with it. What was meant to kill you made you stronger. Have you ever seen a palm tree during a major storm? The strong winds bend them, but they don’t necessarily break.

 

Youtube video used for example:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siHQgN6iFRk

 

You are not your past. You are strong, you are powerful, you are beautiful. You are an amazing person. You are smart, you are unique, you are loved. You are worthy and can do anything and be anything that you want to be.
You are not your past.

 

 

Photo Credit:

“7 Ways to Redefine Yourself.” PfitBlog. 9 Apr. 2014. Web. 9 Dec. 2015. <http://pfitblog.com/2014/04/09/7-ways-to-redefine-yourself/&gt;.

When Life Gives You Lemons.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

“When life gives you lemons, you don’t make lemonade. You use the seeds to plant a whole orchard – an entire franchise! Or you could just stay on the Destiny Bus and drink lemonade someone else has made, from a can.” – Anthon St. Maarten

We have all heard the expression: “when life gives you lemons make lemonade.” But too me, just making lemonade doesn’t seem enough, it’s only temporarily satisfying. So I had to google to see if I could find a similar yet more in depth quote…and Walla! Anthon St. Maarten hit the nail on the head!

When life gives us it’s best shot, We need to grab it buy it’s horns and ride it til the end! Go beyond the glass. Like Anthon St. Maarten’s quote “…. Plant an orchard an entire franchise!”

I think the reason why I love this quote is because this is exactly what I’m doing! I didn’t just take the lemons to make me a glass of lemonade, but I planted the seeds from those lemons to grow lemon trees. I used the fruit of my labors to grow my own fruit. I planted those seeds to reap the fruit of my labor.

It’s okay to drink lemonade that someone else made once in a while; we all need people that have gone through what we are going through, in fact those are the people who help to teach us how to plant our own lemon seeds. Sometimes we need to sit down and quench our thirst from the experience of others; but we cannot stay their sipping on their lemonade. We need to learn how to make the best out of the bad times.