Reflection Over Troubled Waters

I’ve always been drawn to water. I love the oceans, lakes, and ponds. It is as if it is my own little piece of heaven. The place where I can let all my thoughts run wild and yet at the same time I can still feel at peace. I can scream out all my pains without fear. I can cry my deepest cry without judgment. Then, as soon as I have pulled myself together I am literally face to face with myself. Looking at my reflection on the water. Sometimes the body of water may be peaceful, with my reflection gently resting on the surface. Other times the water may be rough, chopping my reflection up.

During these times where I would see my reflection over troubled waters it was like another reminder to myself. Reminding me, that no matter how rough life gets I will never be overtaken by its circumstances. No matter how large the waves they will not drag me away from my destiny. The current at times might slow me down, but it will never stop me from reaching my destination.

Life has tossed me around like an ocean during a storm trying to drown me in sorrow and depression. Just when I thought I would be lost at sea and soon forgotten about, the waves started to slowly calm down. When I felt weak and thought I could no longer keep my head above the waves a deeper strength from within carried me through.

The storm had passed but the choppy waters still remained. I had managed to escape trauma, but the recovery process was just the beginning. Through the waves of life I managed to rise back to the surface after each crashing wave had ferociously crushed over my fragile body.

I am a survivor of many forms of abuse. I made it through the darkest of times. I learned to love my reflection even if it was over troubled waters, not just when I look at it on the gently pond. I have learned to embrace myself even when I am being tossed around in the raging sea.

My reflection over troubled waters, is a reflection of my strength. A reflection of my perseverance and a reflection of my hope. My reflection over troubled waters is a storm all of her own. Never to be broken. Never to dissipate.


When The Darkness Settles

When the darkness settles

And everything goes silent.

That is when the thoughts run rampant

Flashbacks of the past

Lord, how long will this one last?

Thinking about what I’ve been through

Now knowing that it was all due to you

Stronger now I’ve been set free

From all the lies I once believed

No longer your prisoner nor your slave

I never thought I’d see this day.

The day where I would experience freedom

Where I finally got to spread my wings

Raise my voice in triumph

Walking with my head held high

Never have I felt so alive

Oh how far I have come

From where I once was

How far I have come

From that birds cage.

Never will my heart be stomped

Never will my voice be hushed

Never will my identity be taken.

A strong woman I am

A stronger woman I shall be

When the darkness settles.

A force to be reckoned with.

An unstoppable force for the lost.

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

My experience has set my soul on fire.

No longer ashamed of my past,

but rather empowered to inspire.

When the darkness settles

and the light shines through.

My mind has finally been silenced.

Silenced from the pain.

Silenced from self blame.

Silenced from the anger of things I cannot change.

Now that the darkness has settled I can finally breathe.