Life After Mayhem

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It is hard not to wonder what the “new life” will look like when facing the decision to leave or stay. To some, it may seem crazy about there even being a decision in such matter, but the thing is that the abuser actually has THAT MUCH control and has instilled THAT MUCH fear into the victim, that yes; now there is a decision to be made and it can actually be a life or death decision. One must remember, that the victim has been isolated from family and friends, so they may feel like there is nowhere to go. The victim may not know of any resources available to him or her.

Mayhem is defined as violent or damaging disorder; chaos. The definition for it by law: the crime of maliciously injuring or maiming someone, originally so as to render the victim defenseless.

When I think of my past, and the word mayhem, I cannot help but think of it as complete and utter chaos! The fact that I used to live my life walking on eggshells, or better yet more like hot, burning coals. To look back and see that I had given my all to one man, every ounce of me given to him and that still was not enough. That even when I did everything right, he still found some way to find something wrong. How a simple “How was work?” could lead to pinning me onto the bed yelling at me, punching the bed next to my face and then choking me until I passed out. Followed by “I love you’s.” That was part of my mayhem, as a young girl at the age of seventeen.

Life After Mayhem; living a life after surviving such madness is very much possible. Hard at first, especially when you first remove yourself from it and look at all that had happened to you. It is traumatizing. Visions of the trauma flash in front of your eyes all day long, certain sounds and smells take you back to a frightening place. Nightmares are at an all time high. Even though you know you are safe, the feeling of safety has yet to embrace you. Trying to bring order back into a life that has been broken and out of order for some time takes patience, you have to have patience for yourself. You cannot rush the healing process; if it is rushed it will only cause more damage to yourself. The pieces do not just fit back together overnight. You will have really good days and you will have really bad days. Conquer each day one at a time. Set small victories for yourself, the small victories will lead you the major victory.

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You are not the same as you once used to be. Even though you have yet to feel or see it, you are so much better and so much stronger than you have ever been. You got your wings, and when the time is right for you, you will soar to new heights, you will experience new things. You will achieve things you could only once have dreamed of achieving. There will be an indescribable peace in your life. Now not everything is peaches and cream, there will be other obstacles that happen in life, but one thing is for sure; when those obstacles come you can take them head on. All you have to do is look back for a minute to remember where you came from and what you been through. Then remind yourself that if you can make it and survive that, then you can overcome this next obstacle.

Life After Mayhem; your life is now a life filled with peace, your life is a life filled with hope. A new life filled with endless possibilities. A life that is now filled with joy. A Life Worth Living For.

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9 Comments Add yours

  1. Reblogged this on A Black Rose Thrived and commented:
    A MUST READ!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You seem to put in details so much of my story. It is comforting to know I am not alone yet awful to know another has suffered and continues to suffer at another’s hands. Thanks for keeping the motivation going for me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your comments, they encourage me to continue writing. It helps for me to also here that I am not alone with what I went through, and through sharing my experiences finding others who can actually truly understand what I have been through. I am glad I can motivate you as I motivate myself!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I agree nananettie1969 this too is my story. I also find comfort and healing knowing I not alone.
      God bless .🙏

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Blessings to you also!

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Please continue to write, I read everything I can about abuse so I can gain knowledge, understanding and clarity of the abuse I endured. Believe it or not sometimes it was hard for me to believe that it was real. Your sharing helps.💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I ALWAYS SAY THAT IF ONE BLOG TOUCHES JUST ONE PERSON AND HELPS IN ANY WAY THAN THAT IS ALL I EVER NEED!
      THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR YOU SUPPORT!!!

      Liked by 1 person

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