One Pissed Off Survivor

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I have been contemplating writing this blog all day. I wasn’t sure how to start, let alone how I could word this. But earlier today while on WordPress I stumbled upon a blog under the tag Domestic Violence; I must admit the title of this blog caught my attention (as they are supposed to) but what I found actually pissed me off.


Below is the QUOTED sentence I copied and pasted to share with my readers.


“Footnote- At times, I dated victims of domestic violence..this is a terrible thing to say…but if you don’t hit them, they don’t respect you.”


FIRST OFF, you do not date a victim of domestic violence, you date a survivor (unless by chance you happen to be his/her abuser) SECONDLY, the fact that one would even think this way is disturbing all in itself. Let me educate real quick! A SURVIVOR of domestic abuse finds it incredibly hard to TRUST let alone respect ANY human being after all that he or she has been through. Since the fact that the one person who he or she trusted and loved the most destroyed them, and possibly tried to kill them.  It takes time to heal, for some even years; because in order for someone to respect another individual, they have to respect themselves again.


And one more thing, domestic violence is not only PHYSICAL abuse, I wish people would educate themselves more. I mean damn, you have access to google, so do some research! Domestic violence is much more than a punch to the face! In fact if there is physical abuse most abusers will make sure not to leave visible marks. Ever heard of emotional/ mental abuse? If not, you can look at my previous blogs where I posted detailed information on it!


= From one pissed off survivor

*To my readers and followers: What do you think of this sentence? To those who are survivors; how does it make you feel? Comment below and share your thoughts.


15 Comments Add yours

  1. Blue Sky says:

    This person is sick and just identified themselves as an abuser!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The poor sentence structure muddies whatever it is he’s actually trying to say … So, he’s clearly not very bright, which (at least in part) explains why he’s so comfortable identifying himself as a perp. I don’t typically get too worked up about comments like that; perps crave attention, so giving them audience is the last thing I want to do. Great post, tho; enjoyed reading your work!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Skip says:

    As the survivor of tremendous physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual abuse, and as a person who is probably going to prison as a direct result of being the male in the relationship, I have to say that statements I read and hear, including the ones expressed here, do not and cannot cover the spectrum of situations attributed to “Domestic Violence.” The whole subject has gotten way out of hand, but carries so much emotional weight that people cannot look at it without being jaded by their own experience. Therefore, anyone without first-hand knowledge of a particular relationship and it’s workings is not fit to comment, and especially judge, the people in the DV situation. The best people can be driven to doing things they never imagined they would do, and that could happen to YOU, too.


  3. Skip says:

    As for the sentence in question: it is severely questionable.


  4. Wow! Just I have no clue where that persons head is. Today I have read alot on different takes on an individuals brush with DV so it I feel is my higher power telling me I still need alot of healing. Abused for 25years and out of that marriage for 3 years now I thought I was mostly over it!! But, that sentence pissed me off and made me cry. I have came a long ways but I’m light years away from trusting again. I love my life today and know now I didn’t deserve or want anything I got from my abuser. The mental abuse was the worse I have to say. The bloody face and numerous broken bones healed quick enough. But to say I wanted it or still am going to want it if I ever love again is crazy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is exactly my point in this blog my friend. I was pissed! And it has been 10 years for me. I am so proud of you that you got the strength and courage to get out when you did! So see.. Just like my other blog.. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. oddminx says:

    My abusive relationship ended over 25 years ago, and this sentence leaves me with a sinking feeling that ignorance prevails. I find that I continue to attract the same type of loser who would reason like this and I always question the signals I might be putting out. I now realize its’ not me. There are a scary number screwed up men out there, who have been conditioned to think this way for countless reasons. It’s not me, never was me, and never will be me that I will ever put up with this from someone who “loves” me. There are some seriously sick individuals out there, and unfortunately I have experienced the gamut.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Two Sides says:

    I was never abused physically, but I am a survivor of sexual and emotional abuse. People who say things like this make me question how much value there really is in survival. Is living in a world with thins kind of person really that great?
    When a statement starts off with, “This is terrible thing to say,” why would anyone say it? The writer obviously recognizes that the statement is awful, because they admit it first and foremost, but they believe the statement to be true anyway! It’s ridiculous! People are not animals. We do not need to enforce authority to gain a person’s respect–we absolutely do not need to harm people to gain respect. Instead we need to earn respect. If people would just figure that out we’d have a much better world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly!!! Thank you for your comment!


  7. Trease Shine Hinton says:

    Wow. Just wow. I’ll just leave it at that. Man…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. RIGHT?!? That was my expression the entire day…but then I couldn’t hold back anymore..


      1. Trease Shine Hinton says:

        What I’ve learned in my 48 years on this planet is there is no shortage of stupid, stupid people. That guy ranks at the top though.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Trease Shine Hinton says:

    Reblogged this on Transparent Trease and commented:
    Please read this post from a fellow blogger.


  9. stephieann8 says:

    I feel sick to my stomach. I was beat for nearly 7 of the 12 years I was with my abuser. How dare this person even make such a remark. I feel so sad.

    Liked by 1 person

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