Strength Behind Closed Doors

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Do you really know how strong you are?

Do you really know how much strength you have buried deep inside of you?

The battles you fight every single day.

The tears you cry behind closed doors.

The silent prayers you pray each night.

You’re a lot stronger than you think. You have overcome some heavy ordeals. Wherever you are in your healing process, you will face daily struggles, but you will overcome each and every one of them.

You can look life in it’s face and say “I got this!” You can look at yourself in the mirror and say “I am beautiful,I am strong, I am somebody, I am worth it.” You can hold your head up high knowing that you survived. You can set and achieve your goal and dreams.

Real strength can never alone be measured physically. Anyone can be PHYSICALLY strong by training right. True strength comes from within. It is when we tap into that inner strength where we are able to do things we never would have imagined being able to do. The strength that overcomes our fears. The strength that overcomes all our doubts. The strength that even with all we have been through supersedes it all.

So again I ask:

Do you really know how strong you are?

Do you really know how much strength you have buried deep inside of you?

One Pissed Off Survivor

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I have been contemplating writing this blog all day. I wasn’t sure how to start, let alone how I could word this. But earlier today while on WordPress I stumbled upon a blog under the tag Domestic Violence; I must admit the title of this blog caught my attention (as they are supposed to) but what I found actually pissed me off.

 

Below is the QUOTED sentence I copied and pasted to share with my readers.

 

“Footnote- At times, I dated victims of domestic violence..this is a terrible thing to say…but if you don’t hit them, they don’t respect you.”

 

FIRST OFF, you do not date a victim of domestic violence, you date a survivor (unless by chance you happen to be his/her abuser) SECONDLY, the fact that one would even think this way is disturbing all in itself. Let me educate real quick! A SURVIVOR of domestic abuse finds it incredibly hard to TRUST let alone respect ANY human being after all that he or she has been through. Since the fact that the one person who he or she trusted and loved the most destroyed them, and possibly tried to kill them.  It takes time to heal, for some even years; because in order for someone to respect another individual, they have to respect themselves again.

 

And one more thing, domestic violence is not only PHYSICAL abuse, I wish people would educate themselves more. I mean damn, you have access to google, so do some research! Domestic violence is much more than a punch to the face! In fact if there is physical abuse most abusers will make sure not to leave visible marks. Ever heard of emotional/ mental abuse? If not, you can look at my previous blogs where I posted detailed information on it!

 

= From one pissed off survivor

*To my readers and followers: What do you think of this sentence? To those who are survivors; how does it make you feel? Comment below and share your thoughts.

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Merry Christmas?

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The time of year that is represented as peace,love and joy (although it should be an all year round thing). For some, it is a recipe for disaster. See the thing is that domestic violence doesn’t take a holiday. It doesn’t care what day of the year it is.

I can only hope that maybe someone will reach out, whether you know someone in this situation or if you are the victim. Take this opportunity of being around friends and family to reach out to someone. There have been ten domestic violence related homicides in MONTGOMERY CO., AL since this past Thanksgiving alone! TEN!

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“Don’t be ashamed of your story it will inspire others.”

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“Don’t be ashamed of your story it will inspire others.”

I encourage those who have a voice to use it. I encourage you to use it for those who no longer have one, and for those still searching for theirs. I encourage you to no longer be ashamed of what you have been through; but be proud that you survived! Be proud that the thing(s) that tried to kill you made you stronger! Hold your head up high and smile! Stand tall and raise your voice.

There is “No shame in my game.” Yes, I went through it, all of it. But I decided to no longer let IT control me. IT will no longer be used against me, but instead I choose to use IT to help and inspire others to do the same.

 

A Life Worth Living For; a life filled with purpose, a life filled with hope and a life filled with dreams.

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Photo Credit:  https://cassandrasmarriagemints.wordpress.com/2014/09/26/9-domestic-violence-awareness-blog-series/

Reaching For The Stars

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As I have started on my new journey as a blogger, “Reach For The Stars” has become the motto of my life recently. One goal reached, on to the next goal to pursue my ultimate dream of helping those suffering from domestic violence.

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With what many of us have been through, “reaching for the stars” at some point seemed like something that was far out of our grasps. We had been beat down, stomped to the ground and had all our energy drained from us. At times not knowing when our last days would be.

Dreams? Our dreams were shattered, they were destroyed. Shall we dare dream? Shall we dare dream of what we hope to be one day? Where we hope to be one day?  No, we wouldn’t,  no more shattered dreams.

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But then something happened. The survivor in us awoke from deep within. What was once dormant and in hiding had finally had enough. It was time to dream again, it was time to get out and get on with our lives. It was time to get our lives back!

Once we made the great escape, came the healing process, each day setting daily goals, no matter how minute the goal may be. One goal at a time, one step at a time and one day at a time.

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Reach for the stars, and then reach further. Never settle for just enough. Go beyond the boundaries. Break new barriers. Reach more distant stars, explore uncharted territories. Never stop reaching for your stars, keep on dreaming. “If you believe it you will achieve it!”

 

 

Did You Know

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Did you know:

– Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.

– On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.

– 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime.

– 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

– 1 in 7 women and 1 in 18 men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime to the point in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed.

– On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide.

– The presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of homicide by 500%.

– Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime.

– Women between the ages of 18-24 are most commonly abused by an intimate partner.

– 19% of domestic violence involves a weapon.

– Domestic victimization is correlated with a higher rate of depression and suicidal behavior.

– Only 34% of people who are injured by intimate partners receive medical care for their injuries.

Statistic from: http://www.ncadv.org/learn/statistics

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Twitter: @Shauna_Driscoll

A Life Worth Living For; a life filled with purpose. A life filled with hope and a life filled with dreams.

Quick Blog

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First I just wanted to thank those who have read my blog; thank you for your likes, comments and follows, they have all truly encouraged me more than words could ever possibly describe! As some of you know sometimes it can be hard and emotionally draining to share in detail what we have experienced; since basically we are sharing it with the world once we post it on the internet. I hope my future blogs continue to touch, encourage, empower, and inspire those who read them.

With that being said I wanted everyone to know that I recently created a Facebook page to go along side with my blog page.

Please feel free to like, share, and interact on this page as well.

https://m.facebook.com/alifeworthlivingfor/

Thank you!

Why That Title?

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“A life worth living for? I like the name, but what made you choose it?” This seems to be the number one question I am asked when people find out that I have started blogging and they see the title of my page.

When my friend (who is also my editor) and I first discussed and started planning out writing blogs we were also trying to think of a name. It literally just came to me. When I thought of all I had been through in life A Life Worth Living For just seemed perfect. My life’s worth living for and so is yours! We all have a purpose in this world. We all have something to offer and to give. No one is put on this earth for no reason. No matter what some people may think or say. Everyone is born with a purpose. No matter what we experience in life it is all to make us stronger and better. For instance, I believe my purpose is to touch other people’s lives through the tribulations of my own life. To open the curtain of my world and share with others what I have gone through and how I have grown through them. And what better way to start doing that than by blogging right? The feedback I have received is amazing! Something I have wanted to do for so long but was actually scared. Scared of what others would think. I got the opposite feedback. People have been touched, it has open up the doors to bring awareness to situations that are not just my own but to those who have yet found their voice. It brings awareness to topics that so many people know so little about, Or they only know the stereotypical information about the topics.

Why do I blog? Blogging (writing) is also therapeutic when you think about it, it cleanses the soul. You are able to write whatever you want, all your feelings and emotions can be written down. It is a great way to express yourself. With the added benefit that when you share with others you may have helped someone else too.

So our lives really are worth living for. And I hope that in sharing different parts of my life that you too in turn may find your way and purpose as I continue finding mine.

A Life Worth Living For; a life filled with purpose. A life filled with hope and a life filled with dreams.

Twitter: @Shauna_Driscoll

Facebook: A Life Worth Living For

You Are Not Your Past

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You are not your past! You are not all those horrible things that you were once called to belittle you and make you feel powerless. At some point you said “Enough is enough!” You dug and dug deep to muster up whatever ounce of strength you had and you got up and left. No matter how long it may have taken you to get there, the point is that you got there!

 

You walked out and never turned back, or maybe you did. Maybe you looked back for a split second out of habit; maybe you looked back out of fear. But you kept on walking, you faced forward again and walked towards the best days of your life. At first it won’t be easy, but each passing day will get easier than the last. It takes time. Remember a lot was taking from you and you have to get it all back; piece by piece.

 

Do not be afraid to speak to someone, whether it is a trusted family member or friend, or even a professional. If you know someone who has been through a similar experience lean on them for support.

 

Your past is not what defines you, what defines you is how you deal and have dealt with it. What was meant to kill you made you stronger. Have you ever seen a palm tree during a major storm? The strong winds bend them, but they don’t necessarily break.

 

Youtube video used for example:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siHQgN6iFRk

 

You are not your past. You are strong, you are powerful, you are beautiful. You are an amazing person. You are smart, you are unique, you are loved. You are worthy and can do anything and be anything that you want to be.
You are not your past.

 

 

Photo Credit:

“7 Ways to Redefine Yourself.” PfitBlog. 9 Apr. 2014. Web. 9 Dec. 2015. <http://pfitblog.com/2014/04/09/7-ways-to-redefine-yourself/&gt;.

My Reflection

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Through my past experience with domestic violence, I used to find it hard to look at myself in the mirror. I was ashamed of what I would see. During the domestic violence I would look at myself and question who I really was. I would sit there and say to myself: “What did I do to deserve this? What is it that I am not seeing that he seems to see is a problem?” It was always me, me, and me. But the reality was it was always him, him, and him. It was never me, I was not an insecure individual, I had always been happy with who I was no matter what life seemed to hand me. It all of a sudden changed, he took that away from me, and his insecurities drowned and poisoned me, transforming me into something else.

After I opened my eyes and found my escape route the shame was still there. I was ashamed that I had allowed the abuse to happen, I was ashamed that I actually accepted it as “OK”. How could I ever share my whole truth with someone? They would laugh at me.  I was embarrassed. I didn’t trust anyone, I am not even sure I trusted myself.

 It took months, no years for me to look at myself in the mirror with confidence. It took years for my mindset to get right again, just like I wrote in my first blog about my story.

Now I look in the mirror I stand before my reflection and confidently say:  “Wow after all of that, I am still here, I made it out alive. After all the beating, the choking, the verbal abuse of saying I was nothing and I would be nothing. I now take this part of my life for the better good. To share with those with similar experiences, to share with those still grieving through their survival. To share for those who never made it.

I am on a new journey now; I have a different destination that I am soaring too. So as I prepare for each day and I look in the mirror, I smile at my reflection, straighten my crown and walk away like the boss that I know I am.

As I finish writing this I am actually fighting back tears, bittersweet, because while I am able to smile at my own reflection; I know there is someone who cannot even stand their own. I know there is someone questioning themselves as I write this and as you read.

For someone who feels there is no way out, know that there really is. You are loved; you are missed by those you have been taken from. You are an incredible and beautiful human being. You can do and be anything you want. You are your own property. You do not belong to anyone else.

To my fellow survivors, do not give up the final fight, the final fight to stay strong; the final fight to get your identity back. That last final blow that says; “I am not broken or damaged goods, I am somebody and I will be better than I was before. Nothing and no one can stop me” Embrace your reflection, adjust your crown and take your new days head-on!

Photo credit: “Domestic Violence Quotes.” Pinterest. Web. 6 Dec. 2015. .

I am a warrior

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Like the photo that coincides with this blog: ” I have battled my whole life to become the strong woman I am today…”

My father abandoned us after my mother divorced him. My stepfather passed from cancer. I was in an abusive relationship. As well as dealt with alcoholism and other obstacles in my life.

Through the small obstacles to the larger ones, I successfully fought my way through. At times I just had to jump over a hurdle, other times I had to crawl and claw my way out. I fought and I conquered

My scars; whether their physical, or the ones I allow to be seen through my words or by my voice, will never be used as a tool to try and further damage me. They will be used to show that I am a fighter. That I am strong and that I survived and will always survive.

I am a warrior; do not be ashamed by my battle wounds. Embrace them, just as I embrace them.

Embrace your own battle wounds! You’re a survivor; you have a story that needs to be told to ears that need and want to hear.

We as the survivors of our circumstances need to be the voice for those who no longer have one, and to those who have yet to find their own voice.

Photo Credit: From Facebook page: Stop Domestic Abuse